It’s Nice To Feel Useful (7)

  

It’s nice to feel useful (7) …

Every now and again I like to look back over my posts to review what has been going on.  One of the things that I like to do is to take a look at the search questions that seem to bring web-surfers by the site and take a look at some of the more bizarre and unusual.

Last year my favourite was is “Why did Shakespeare bring starlings to Australia?”  and I was obliged to point out here that William Shakespeare died in 1616 and Australia wasn’t settled by Europeans for another couple of hundred years or so after that and although there is much literary speculation concerning possible visits by the Bard to Italy I think it is safe to say that he never went as far as Australia!

Vesuvius the crater

Being a student of geography I am going to begin with a couple of wildly inaccurate searches:  Firstly “Vesuvius Turkey”  and secondly “Wales Cantabria”.  When I was a boy I had a book called “The Boys’ Book of Heroes” which had a chapter about great explorers and I am fairly certain that if they republish it that these two enquirers are really most unlikely to get a mention.

Sex always rears its ugly head so let’s deal with that one straight away.  Someone asked about “Getting laid in Germany” and believe me if I had the answer to that one then I would keep it to myself.

I like this one even better – “Medieval brothels images” and I am completely unable to help with that one because most of the illuminated manuscripts in my collection have images of Jesus and the Saints and as Monks didn’t have digital cameras they probably didn’t have a great deal of spare time to draw pictures of brothels.  Perhaps the enquirers were thinking about the red light district in Amsterdam or perhaps they found their way to my post on the Grand Tour of Europe?

The best that I can do is show this picture of a ‘walk this way‘ brothel sign in the ancient city of Ephesus in Turkey …

Ephesus Brothel Sign

There are always some bizarre questions about low cost airline Ryanair and this year these are my favourites: firstly “Can I take tea bags on a Ryanair flight?” and as far as I am aware tea has not been declared an illegal substance so I am certain that the answer is yes but I don’t think you will be allowed to take a kettle and brew up!  Next – “Is agarbatti allowed in flights?”  and I have to say that with Ryanair being a no smoking airline probably not and lighting up an incense stick is likely to lead to Argy Bargy.   I did provide some advice for flying with Ryanair in a post called Travel Tips When Flying Budget Airlines.

Ryanair Fez Airport

Some of the daftest search enquiries seem to crop up every year but here are some new ones from the last twelve months:

“What were gunfighters actually called” and my answer to that one is that although some of them had real names of course like Jesse James, Billy The Kid, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid  I think mostly they were just called gunfighters!

The meanest gunfighter in the West however was…

Next up – “Which state are Johnny Cash and June Carter talking about when they say we been talking about Jackson ever since the fire went out?- I am of course tempted to say just try Jackson USA and you will get the answer – it is that simple!

We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
We’ve been talkin’ ’bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I’m goin’ to Jackson, I’m gonna mess around,
Yeah, I’m goin’ to Jackson,
Look out Jackson town.

To finish two more searches that caught my attention this year – “Jesus give thanks to feed four thousand men” and I can only assume that in an era of cutbacks and austerity that  this enquirer works for the Government because the size of the crowd has been reduced by 20%.  I wrote about the feeding of the five thousand quite recently.

And finally for this time – “is there a weight limit for the Cresta Run” but I am afraid that I cannot help with that one at all.

What is the strangest search engine enquiry that has brought someone to one of your blog posts?  (This is not a quiz!)

A look back at previous silly search questions:

It’s Nice to feel Useful (1)

It’s Nice to feel Useful (2)

It’s Nice to feel Useful (3)

It’s Nice to feel Useful (4)

It’s Nice to feel Useful (5)

It’s Nice to feel Useful (6)

23 responses to “It’s Nice To Feel Useful (7)

  1. Hilarious how some searches reach our blogs 🙂

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  2. Funny. My readers seem to be quite sensible, until now I haven’t had really strange referring questions, and no sex was involved. Maybe I’m doing it all wrong and should pepper my posts with some key words. 🙂

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  3. Two of the top unusual search phrases on my blog are “boys in tights” and “slapped legs”. A look at search phrases for my flickr site is however a completely different education!

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  4. That distorted foot print in this post worries me a little…. ( like which toe to follow !!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Andrew, I love this post! I nearly spewed my morning coffee when I read the Shakespeare question. I just checked our searches this week and our favorite is “local fat naked mama in south africa.” The mind is a strange thing. 🙂 ~Terri

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  6. Hilarious and interesting to see what searches are made. 😛
    I’ve never found any search terms on my blog. Seems they bump into it somehow and move on. That I find funny as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have looked at mine and they all seem to be very safe and sensible nothing like the searches you’ve been getting!

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  8. Mostly WordPress just says I have a bunch of “unknown” search terms. I have noticed my packing list posts seem to be popular, and for some unknown reason a lot of people click on the photos on this post on Albania – https://mytimetotravel.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/going-grand-in-shkodra/

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great search quotes, Andrew. I’ve had quite a few turn up on my blog with the most funniest and most eye opener properly being “Does Hugh Bonnerville have big balls?”

    Now what could I could say to that? I mean I don’t even know the man!

    I wrote a post entitled “The Secret of Downton Abby”, and it turned up there and, before you ask, no, the secret had nothing to do with Mr Bonnerville.

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  10. This is hilarious Andrew! Great post and like Terri I almost spewed several times. I always think how disappointed folks must be to land on my site when searching for something so different.

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  11. You crack me up Andrew! Were Johnny Cash and June Carter talking about Jackson, Wyoming? I thought it was Jackson Mississippi.

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  12. Too much fun! I love your search terms, and I am certainly going to start collecting them now. The most common searches leading people to my site are *always* “seven color crystal boll” (my top viewed post for over 4 years), “map rock Idaho,” and “hoover dam” (I think people are using the photos I took). But here’s a fun one I just discovered because of your post: In the last month, three people have searched, “early 1980s small plastic juice bottle in shape of a bear,” or maybe it was one person searching three times. And how about “urinal fun women.” And “until streetcars back rutabagas” – what the heck?! I am fairly confident my posts were no help. Well, maybe the urinal one. https://crystaltrulove.wordpress.com/2013/03/13/urinal-fun/

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  13. Pingback: It’s Nice To Feel Useful (9) | Have Bag, Will Travel

  14. Pingback: It’s Nice to Feel Useful (11) | Have Bag, Will Travel

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