An alternative Donald Trump inspired Disney EPCOT World Showcase

trump-hall-of-presidents

Following the unexpected election of Donald J Trump to the office of President of the United States the Walt Disney Corporation may find it necessary to have a rethink about the way countries are represented at EPCOT World Showcase at World Disney World in Florida to more accurately reflect the thinking and the policies of the new Commander in Chief.

Here are some ideas that they might consider…

Starting with China the Temple of Heaven could easily be demolished and replaced with a replica of the Great Wall of China to reflect an immigration policy which will redesign the USA/Mexico border with the construction of Trump’s Great Wall of Texas/New Mexico/Arizona/California.

great-wall-of-china

Rather appropriately we come now straight to Mexico which could be completely redesigned with the removal of the Aztec Temple and the boat ride El Rio del Tiempo with its audio-animatronic figures clad in authentic folk clothing, singing, dancing, and playing music. They are all way too happy and friendly and I suggest should be replaced with a Western theme based entirely on the movie ‘The Magnificent Seven’ which will emphasise the Trump image of Mexicans as fearsome gun-toting criminals showing no respect to their neighbours and swarming illegally over the borders of their village.

magnificent-seven

No really big changes required at Norway except for more emphasis on Elves and Fairies because these are the sort of mythical creatures that Donald consults with at his policy think-tank meetings and a lot more Trolls because he is good at being sexist and insulting and trolling is the basis of his interactions with normal and respectable people.

Little People Elves Iceland

Belgium is a beautiful city” Trump said during a rally in Atlanta, Georgia.

Donald doesn’t seem to have an especially good understanding of the complexities of Europe and the diversity of its constituent countries so to make it easy for visitors it would be a good idea to simply amalgamate Germany, France and Italy into one brand new attraction called the European Union and put the Eiffel Tower in amongst the canals of Venice and next to the Brandenburg Gate.

The United Kingdom could be included if it wasn’t for the distracting issue of the referendum and the decision to leave the EU but thinking ahead it would make sense to place the two attractions side by side so that they could easily be integrated if the democratic decision of the British people is overturned by the Remainers.

epcot-eu

Until that issue is resolved the United Kingdom should remain mostly unchanged to reflect the ‘special relationship’ that Donald has promised to maintain but with one important addition to represent his own personal ‘special relationship’  a waxwork image of his pal and UK BREXIT champion Nigel Farage might be placed at the bar of the Rose and Crown pub.

nigel-farage

The concept of Neighbouring Canada is designed to represent the great healthy outdoors with a canyon and a lake with a waterfall and a healthy forest but to reflect Trump’s threatened environmental policies and a reckless denial of global warming it might have to go through a complete remodelling and a whole different sort of attraction.

My suggestion is forest of stumps, trees killed by acid rain.

dead-forest

Currently the only country at Epcot that represents the Muslim world is Morocco where six shops decorate the pavilion which showcase Moroccan art and skills, selling visitors everything from rugs to leather goods and traditional Moroccan clothing.

Donald of course has little or no respect for Islam and seems to regard them all as treacherous terrorists so all of these representations of art and culture and peaceful religion I am afraid will have to go and will need to be replaced with exhibits that explain just how sinister and dangerous these people are.

bomb-factory

With Donald reassessing his foreign policy alternatives and threatening to withdraw support from traditional allies then there will no place in the new EPCOT World Showcase for poor Japan who I recommend simply be replaced by new allies Russia and a replica of Red Square and the Kremlin and a Victory Day Military Parade ride.

victory-day-parade-2016

That only leaves USA and there seems no urgent need for change in this pavilion, Donald has promised great things and Hillary has said ‘give the guy a chance’ and anyway, there are four years of Trump Presidency so if he fails or lets people down we can return to World Showcase USA and make any changes we want any time we want.

Anybody else got any suggestions for a restructured World Showcase?

EPCOT USA

If you are at all interested you can check out my original World Showcase post here… 

Around The World in Eighty Minutes

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31 responses to “An alternative Donald Trump inspired Disney EPCOT World Showcase

  1. I took school groups on several occasions to what was then Eurodisney and if this is the attraction we visited with that appalling theme song played over and over till people begged for mercy, I would be looking at turning the whole thing into a careful reconstruction of the Island of Krakatoa.

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  2. Wow! That’s almost a political post. I enjoyed it 🙂

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  3. Greenland, of course, would be a green land.

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  4. Ho ho ho. Don’t want to touch this one with a 10-ft. pole. You’ve covered it all, Andrew.
    Last time I was at Disney, Florida was a little over 30 years ago. I did not see this Epcot Disney Showcase. Don’t know if they had it or I missed it. 😀

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  5. Ha ha! You are too clever by half Andrew, whatever that means. ‘Only in America’ as we say, but Italy did have its sexist billionaire Berlusconi. And I’m old enough (no doubt you too) to remember the Christine Keeler affair, I believe it was? The black comedian on Saturday Night Live last night said something about ‘The WHITES are rioting in Portland!’. Only in America, mumble, mumble, mumble…

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  6. If Nellie The Elephant had not gone around campaigning for him, he might not have been elected.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The idea with Kremlin and Red Square is good, but without May Day Military Parade, because Russia never had it. There were just parades of “workers and peasants.” At least on May 1. Military parade on May 9 is another matter, this is the Day of Victory.

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  8. I enjoyed your post Andrew or was terrified, Likely both. Being in close proximity we are a bit twitchy here in Niceville. Hoping the acid rain stays away as well as walls on the northern border. Seems like lots of folks are hoping to get in.

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  9. Oh, you are awful! But I like you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Great post!!! Let’s not forget Florida is always the party pooper. So perhaps instead of changing just Epcot, why not the whole state!

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  11. “Russia and a replica of Red Square and the Kremlin and a May Day Military Parade ride.”

    1) There is no representation of Russia there?
    2) What you have against the Victory Day Parade in Moscow?
    3) Are you aware that the picture you used to illustrate your suffestion is from the 1st of May parade of Brezhnev’s USSR?

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    • Thanks
      Please bear in mind that the post is supposed to be a joke but since you ask:
      1) As far as I am aware there is currently no representation of Russia at EPCOT World Showcase. Apparently there were plans for a Russia Pavilion in the early 1990s but they failed to be turned into reality.
      2) Nothing, it looks like jolly good fun!
      3) Your point is?

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      • 1) Maybe it’s for the best – i.e. not having a “Them Park Version” of Russia as its representation abroad.

        2) Splendid! If its truly your opinion. See, I have some doubts about that. As you wrote some time ago:

        “Etched in my mind are grainy images from the 1960s of Russia’s annual May Day Parade when a cheerless looking Politburo would sit close to Lenin’s tomb and watch an endless procession of goose stepping troops and weapons of mass destruction that were going to wipe us off the face of the earth troop by in what seemed to be a provocative display deliberately choreographed to create paranoia and fear in the west.”

        Bloody Ruskies! Triggering fears of the Free World – not a bit of concern of what are they doing with their micro-aggression!

        And you know what? There are still “goose stepping troops (c)” (you never was in the military, was you?) and military hardvare during the V-Day parade. Does this also creates paranoia and fear in you?

        3) You could use a photo from the last parade:

        But, as the discussion in this comment section shows you didn’t know the difference between the 1st of May parade (they are not holding them in Russia anymore – did you know that?) and the Victory Day Parade of the 9th of May. But you absolute had to find some sort of illustration of the satanic level of evilness of the PEOTUS by taking a jab at Russia.

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      • Thank you for this contribution, I always appreciate good feedback.

        Hopefully you will understand that mine is not a political blog and I intended the post to be ‘just a bit of fun’. It is supposed to be whimsical but sometimes I fail!

        You are quite right, I did not know the difference between the May Day and the Victory Parade. I do now. Thank you for the information and I have amended the post to reflect the correction.

        I do indeed remember news reels of Red Square parades in the 1960s and fear of what they seemed to represent at that time and I make no apologies for that. I was born in 1954 and grew up through the period of the Cold War, of espionage, nuclear threat and occupation and repression of Eastern Europe so forgive me that recollection.

        You are correct, I never was in the military but I did a few years in the Boy Scouts!

        I read elsewhere an interesting piece that you wrote about Hollywood representation of Russia through the movies and TV, it was a good piece and I enjoyed it.

        Anyway, must get on, I have an Ian Fleming novel to finish reading!

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  12. Dear Andrew Petcher!

    You write that some of your posts (not all, I’m sure) are intended to be “just a bit of fun”. That they are supposed to be “whimsical”.

    Okay. So, you belong to the same generation as my parents. You see, Mr. Petcher, I’m Russian, from Russia and Russia resident. The generaton of my parents also grew up in the same era. They, OTOH, grew up without fear of “espionage and nuclear threat”, without quivering at every bit of the news.

    You write about “occupation and repression of Eastern Europe”. I have no idea what are you talking about, honestly. What “occupation” and what “repression”? And why would something happening in the Eastern Europe would be much more important for you, than what happened at the same time in Spain, Greece, or wherever the West decided to military intervene in the name of the capitalism and democracy? Maybe, just maybe, you were manipulated all those years to develop ceratain knee-jerk reactions and believe into something without really knowing the facts? And maybe (just maybe!) you are maipulated by the same Media again, but this time in regards of Trump and other “deplorable” things considered unacceptable by the general narrative?

    “I read elsewhere an interesting piece that you wrote about Hollywood representation of Russia through the movies and TV, it was a good piece and I enjoyed it.”

    Wow. 8-0)

    Someone actually read that? Blogging is a close world, I guess.

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    • The occupation of Eastern Europe was relatively recent. It might be over but you surely cannot deny it! Hungary in 1956, Czechoslovakia in 1968, that is what I describe as occupation and repression!

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      • “The occupation of Eastern Europe was relatively recent. It might be over but you surely cannot deny it”

        Mr, Petcher, are you aware of the definition of the term “[military] occupation”? Look it, before we continue.

        – After the suppression of the revolt in Hungary in 1956 the country returned back into the Warsaw pact. After 1957 there were no military occupation in effect.

        – After the collective invasion of Czechoslovakia in 1968 (which did not left the Warsaw pact) and, indeed, there was a short period of the military occupation by the Pact forces. The regime of the military occupation had been lifted after Dubchek’s agreement to sign Moscow’s protocol. After that most of the troops were pulled out, but what units remained there (mainly SA military) did so in accordance with C-S.

        Next I advise you to look up the definition of the word “repression(s)”. Because, really – they exist everywhere, everytime. Singling out “bad” Soviets is just dishonest. Or are you of the opinion that the governemnts has no roght to actions to preserve themselves? Because punishing criminals is also a form of “repression”. Barring some people from political, security or military career due to their past or appearance is also a form of “repression”. Firing someone from the job for politically incorrect (not matter what or where) words is (you guess it!) also a form of repression.

        Yes, there was a time period called the Cold War. And the SU, plust the countries in its sphere of influence had the gall of not surrendering to the West. The USSR was prepared to fight both for the world and for itslef. Boo. Hoo. What a baddies!

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      • Whatever substance it is that you take it clearly provides a historical mental block!

        What part of the definition of occupation do you not understand?

        In the last one hundred years Russia has been the most aggressive and expansionist country in Europe. Stalin killed more people than Hitler -fact! In 1945 it occupied parts of Germany and Eastern Europe – fact, Russian troops terrorised and raped their way through Western Europe – fact. Russia oppressed all of the Baltic States and left behind a legacy of fear and terrorism and worst of all military waste – fact.

        Today it threatens the west once more with military expansion – fact. It has invaded and recolonised Crimea – fact. The Baltic States live in fear of your monster President Putin – fact!

        You are an intelligent man, please do not deny this.

        Personally I have no problem with Russia or Russian people but collectively of course we fear the threat from the east. Wouldn’t you?

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  13. “Whatever substance it is that you take it clearly provides a historical mental block!”

    So let’s listen to your claims! I’m sure, none of them is based upon tried and tested cliches and stereotypes, and a plain old Russophobia!

    Let’s roll!

    “In the last one hundred years Russia has been the most aggressive and expansionist country in Europe.”

    Based on what metrics was it this what you claim? Do you have some consciese study to support such a claim?

    ” Stalin killed more people than Hitler -fact!”

    Another cliche, another tried trope from Russophobia 101. Again – sources please.

    Oh, and btw – USSR (or “Soviet Russia”, as you probably was taught) lost about 27-28 millions to the Great Patriotic War. War with Hitler and his Axis. Are you going to say that Stalin, somehow, managed to “kill” (btw, how did he kill – personally?) more than that? And, despite that, the USSR at the end of his rule had more people (much, much more people) than at the beginning?

    “In 1945 it occupied parts of Germany and Eastern Europe”

    As compared to the so-called “Allies” of the USSR whom, ah, didn’t occupy their own half of Europe and Germany?

    “Russian troops terrorised and raped their way through Western Europe”

    1) Western Europe? 🙂
    2) Again – sources for that.
    2) Are you going to tell me that the so-called Allies of the USSR didn’t rape and pillage on their way to Berlin?

    “Russia oppressed all of the Baltic States and left behind a legacy of fear and terrorism and worst of all military waste”

    Yes… that’s why the level of life lifebeing in the Baltic SSRs was highest in the entire Union, that’s why there was a constant economic and population growth there durin “terror” and “oppression”, and now, Liberated Baltic Tigers are dying out and suffering from de-industrialization!

    Curses upon you, Bolshies!

    “Today it threatens the west once more with military expansion – fact.”

    When? How? Your evidence, please.

    ” The Baltic States live in fear of your monster President Putin – fact!”

    Monster President Putin?

    8-0

    […]

    Oh, wait – you are seiorus! Let me laugh even harder!

    […]

    So, enLYTTEN me – what makes Putin “monstrous”!

    “You are an intelligent man, please do not deny this.”

    Not sure about that. I’m unflatterable though.

    “Personally I have no problem with Russia or Russian people but collectively of course we fear the threat from the east. Wouldn’t you?”

    Ignorance and susceptability to your Media’s propaganda is not an excuse. If you want to learn facts and engage in intelligent debate – I’m here. If you want just to repeat same old recycled crap from the Cold War – there are echo chambers of WaPo, NYT and the Economist for that.

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