I have always hated caravans. I remember how horrible they were when I was a boy and we used to have family holidays in a tin box without any modern facilities but now, after a few modern caravan holidays I have become a real enthusiast, a zealot even, rather like someone who has gone through a rapid religious conversion and has become a serious pain in the arse and this time, after banging on about it I persuaded Kim to join me to a holiday park in Whitley Bay in Northumberland.
It was my birthday and we began the weekend by driving north late on a Thursday afternoon and staying at a Premier Inn Hotel in Bishop Auckland. Premier Inn Hotels are my favourite and at £30 for a room for a night, that, in my book awarded them another couple of gold stars.
After a night out at a pub/restaurant we woke early the next day and drove straight to the town centre for a Wetherspoon breakfast.
The pub is called the Stanley Jefferson to commemorate the fact that Stanley Jefferson once lived in Bishop Auckland and attended the Grammar School there. Stanley Who I hear you ask? Well, Stanley Jefferson is better known to everyone as Stan Laurel of Laurel and Hardy fame. There is a statue of him nearby on the site of a theatre that was once owned by his parents, long since gone of course.
I remember Laurel and Hardy from Saturday Morning Pictures at the Granada Cinema in Rugby where I lived as a boy. They were my favourites then and they remain my favourites now. Surely there has never been a finer comedy double act in entertainment history? In the UK there are a seriously talentless pair of chumps called Ant and Dec who for some reason known only to the morons that vote for them, regularly win comedy duo awards but take my word for it these are dwarfs in the land of comedy giants like Stan and Ollie!
After a brisk walk around the town centre we left Bishop Auckland and County Durham and made our way north to Tyneside.
It was rather overcast when we emerged from the northern exit of the Tyne Tunnel and paid our £1.70 toll and disappointed by this we made our way to the small town/village of Tynemouth.
At Kim’s insistence (to avoid car parking charges) we left the car in a residential area and I worried about being clamped and then walked along the promenade to the ruins of a Priory on a craggy and windswept headland where by all accounts the queens of Edward I (Eleanor of Castile) and Edward II (Isabella (the She Wolf) of France) stayed in the while their husbands were away campaigning in Scotland. King Edward III considered it to be one of the strongest fortresses in the Northern Marches but not much of it remains today following its abandonment during the dissolution of the monasteries under Henry VIII.
It remains in an imposing location however set on a headland separating two magnificent sandy beaches. To the north, King Edward’s Bay and to the south Longsands, an expanse of fine sand which in 2013 was voted one of the best beaches in the country by users of the world’s largest travel site TripAdvisor.
They voted the beach the UK’s fourth favourite beaten only by Rhossili Bay in Wales, Woolacombe Beach in North Devon and Porthminster Beach at St Ives, Cornwall. The beach was also voted the twelfth best in Europe. I am not sure if all the people who voted have ever been to Europe however!
Beyond the Priory and commanding the attention of all shipping on the Tyne is the giant memorial to Lord Cuthbert Collingwood, Nelson’s second-in-command at Trafalgar, who completed the victory after Nelson was killed on board HMS Victory. Collingwood is largely forgotten in the wake of Nelson’s tsunami of hero worship but his column in Tynemouth stands equally as tall and as proud as that of his boss in Trafalgar Square.
Travelling north the next village is Cullercoats where a crescent of caramel sand shaped like a Saracen’s sword was once a fishing village and a hundred years ago home to several impressionist artists but is now a rather run down day trippers magnet for people from the city.
Everywhere I go seems to have a story to tell. The most interesting fact about the place is its association with the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) because following disasters in the mid nineteenth century and loss of life at Cullercoats the Duke of Northumberland financed a competition for a standard design of a lifeboat. The winner was a larger self-righting boat that had a narrow beam and was much longer with higher end-boxes containing the air-cases tested to self-right when capsized.
The sea was calm today and we sat on the sand outside the lifeboat station but no one was called into action in the hour or so that we spent there.
Further along the coast was Whitley Bay which has a fine beach and a funfair and entertainment centre called Spanish City which featured in the Dire Straits song Tunnel of Love but which is closed now and undergoing extensive renovation. We stopped for a while at St Mary’s Island, just long enough to kill some time until our caravan was ready for us at four o’clock, where there is a redundant lighthouse and rock pools where children fish for crabs with small nets just as I used to fifty years ago give or take a year or so.
We checked in and I have to confess that I was a little disappointed. I had been spoiled a couple of months previously in an especially fine caravan in Great Yarmouth but where that was a gold star van this was only bronze but I am told by my travelling pal Dai that caravan allocation on these sites is always a bit of a lottery!
With our penchant for acronyms, what you folks call caravans are referred to as RVs (recreational vehicles) here. They have certainly gone upscale for some. It’s becoming quite the thing to actually live in these monsters with every amenity you can imagine (including, but not limited to washing machines and dryers) while roaming the country like a band of gypsies. Luckily we have a bit more room to spread out here, but they can certainly clog things up during certain seasons. My impression is that you’re more likely to rent them than own them on your side of the pond.
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These are static vans, you couldn’t drag these things around our narrow roads. My bucket list includes an RV holiday in the US!
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Good start, Andrew. Don’t they serve breakfast at Premier Inns? I have to confess to never having tried a Wetherspoons one. 🙂 🙂 I didn’t know about the Stan Laurel connection either. Next time we’re in Bishop I’ll have to seek him out. I love St. Mary’s though, and it’s a while since I had a wander round Tynemouth Priory.
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Wetherspoon breakfasts are cheaper! If I lived near St Mary’s I would be there at least twice a day!
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You can’t go to Wetherspoons Andrew! He’s an ardent Brexiter!
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Quite right Margaret. Dreadful man.
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It’s a wonderful area of the country. There is a nice walk at Tynemouth along the concrete structure that takes you along the northern edge of the estuary. It’s almost like being at sea once you get to the very end.
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It was closed off when we visited John, not sure if it was a temporary closure or permanent. It was a fine day so there was no apparent danger!
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I wonder how many posts you’ve started with ‘I’ve always hated caravans’?
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That is the problem with recycling! I’ll stop now with caravan.
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I am continuously intrigued by you stream of conscious brain. You start with caravans (You said before that you hated them} then all of a sudden we get Laurel and Hardy and Henry viii and closure of the monasteries etc etc. Each post is like reading a book. I love it. I wish I could write like that. Have you ever gone on a holiday and done nothing?
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A blog post needs distractions I always think!
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But yours are particularly suited. The subject matter suits your style, and your style suits your subjects.
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Thanks, I appreciate that!
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Have you tried the boat trip from Seahouses to the Farne Islands? Best recommended at bird breeding time. There are puffins, razorbills, guillemots, eider ducks … although for some reason I don’t quite understand they also seem to go on quite a lot about a grey starling.
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Oh that is so funny! Absolutely Brilliant!
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You’ll never be able to hear it correctly again.
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Lovely part of the country…and I’m on your page regarding Stan and Ollie!
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Best ever surely!
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😀
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Well imagine the blog post you could write by adventuring out on your roads with a monster North America type RV! On the other hand perhaps some things are best left to the imagination.
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One day Sue, one day. My son arrived in Calgary today but not in an RV!
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It’s unbelievably hot in Calgary right now. We rarely see these kinds of temperatures. Hope he has a ton of fun at the Stampede and doesn’t melt. We have been in Mexico where it was cooler. Go figure.
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I am going to Ireland where it is raining. Never mind!
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Hoping for some sun to find you!
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Big Business is my favourite ever Christmas film. L&H are undoubtedly the greatest ever comedy duo.
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I like all of them, the obvious ones of course like the Piano and the Sawmill but I have always especially liked ‘Me and My Pal’ where they are trying to finish a jigsaw puzzle.
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We’re heading to Bishop Auckland in a couple of weeks – mix of work and pleasure. Will have to look out for Stan!
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The Bishop’s Palace is closed right now which is a shame!
If you like steak pie then go to Greggs (not the bakery chain but an independent near Stan’s statue) – the best I have ever tasted!
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We love steak pie – that will be a must then. Thank you for the recommendation!!
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Shame about the caravan not being as nice as you thought it would be. I’m guessing you had to go to the onsite social club for wifi or did this one have it? I agree about Laurel and Hardy but, for me, Morcombe and Wise pip them to the post. Isn’t this Kim’s part of the world?
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Never mind Hugh there is always next time. There was wifi but a bit expensive but it was free in the social club. Kim is originally From Durham so Northumberland is a bit further north.
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I did not know Stan came from your parts. Huh!
I mean, he seemed alright, otherwise.
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Oh yes! The brains of the partnership
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Ah … no wonder they got into so much trouble.
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I absolutely agree with your comments on Ant and Dec.
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When my son was at university in Newcastle, we popped to Tynmouth and walked the length of the walkway, it seemed to go on forever and when we reached the lighthouse it was foggy. Hearing the regular sound of the very loud foghorn and a boat out at sea was both deafening and scary.
We also visited an award-winning fish and chip cafe in Tynemouth, best ones we’ve ever tasted, well, maybe Whitby might best it!
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Yorkshire fish and chips are best wherever.
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Especially at the coast!
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P.S I don’t dislike Ant and Dec but the award is undeserved. For comedy and quick wit I would vote for Lee Mack.
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I find it impossible to understand how they get the top award year after year
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I totally agree with you. It seems some people wouldn’t recognise clever comedy if they saw it. There are some very brilliantly funny, witty minds out there that are would outwit these two any day.
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You will never see them on ‘Have I Got News For You’
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Ah, so it’s one of your favourite programs too. 🙂
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Absolutely!
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Ant and Dec? Well, thank you for telling me that they were supposed to be comedians.I hadn’t realised.
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Quite right John. Two overrated talentless twerps
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I used to use Premier Inns a lot whilst working and on the road. I think I probably saw enough of the inside of Premier Inn rooms to last a lifetime! No complaints with them, though. Wakefield was my favourite!
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I like them for their consistency.
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Having grown up in both Sunderland and Newcastle I am very familiar with these places. I used to live the Spanish City when I was a kid.
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I can see from the pictures that it was an exciting place!
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